Episode Transcript
Happy holidays, everyone! Holidays are difficult for some of us. And SOME of us use those dreaded holidays to write silly poems, as a distraction. So here goes:
As I knead my cookie dough to make delightful treats
Gingerbread and gingersnaps and more such festive feats
Each one oh-so-jolly with it’s sprinkles, candy, frosting
Painstakingly shaped, be DAMNED the energy it’s costing
But then - surprise! With heart rate rised, I need to take a break
And pretty soon, with kitchen hot, my POTS says “we can’t bake.”
But wise and gray, I know the way to pre-empt all frustration
I laugh it off and scoff ‘cause I had LOW expectations
And as I hang those outdoor lights (be careful on that ladder!)
I’ve carefully beset each one, enduring teeth a-chatter
Proud to make a monument to twinkling Christmas cheer
Our house alight for landing by those famous 8 reindoor
And though they look just perfect in their twinkling green and red
We plug it in just 3 days hence: the lights have all gone dead
But me, I’m not downtrodden; no, I’ve lost no inspiration
I KNEW that this would happen, thanks to LOW expectations!
Then as I wrap up presents in nice paper, ribbon, bows
Trying to make each one great, a masterpiece to show
With red and golden sparkles, plus an accent of deep green
Anticipating squeals of joy when these delights are seen
But dizziness is setting in and wrapping goes askew
Each rushed wrap a bit more crap as feet are turning blue
But magnanimity doth reign and save the situation
I’m not bumming (You saw this coming!) due to LOW expectations
I pull that grand soufflé out from the oven (It’s a coup!)
My toil and work was worth it — it’s a gourmet dream come true
But wait—oh no— I spilled some dough, and now I’m smelling smoke
No problem, got the the fire blanket in one masterstroke
But late I am, for smoke alarm is screaming - ruining naps
On it goes, oh no, soufflé, of course is in collapse.
But I won't pout or moan or groan or show much agitation
I was smart, embraced the art of LOW expectations
Then there was the party, such an annual delight
_Plans to meet with friends and mingle; jingle through the night
Dress picked out and shoes layed out, a hostess gift prepared
A blessed time to celebrate another year we shared
But as I prepped and washed my hair, the shower started to spin
I sat down quick and didn’t faint, but therein ended my win
Down for the count, unable to stand, a pain upon the chest,
POTS said, “let’s stay in tonight, you know that that is best.”
And though I almost cursed and cried to miss the jubilation
I took it in stride, smiled and sighed, armed with LOW expectations
Now, why, you ask, would I bring up such pessimistic gloom?
Shouldn’t we avoid thinking of fails, flails and doom?
Well, I would say, the reason is for us to well prepare
For imperfections imminent, whenever we most care
And lesson learned from past years tears and holiday vexations
Suggest there is an antidote: LOW expectations
Don’t be surprised when your fatigue chooses the worst time to hit
Don’t be surprised when pain comes nigh, and robs you of your wit
Anticipate that cocktail — though just a tiny swallow
Will slam you, try to damn you, to some misery to follow
Expect the palpitations as you’re standing in the checkout
Expect your vision blurry as you try to get the heck out
Anticipate some days in bed, as payment for your outings
Days of pain, fatigue, regret may come, there is no doubting
The holidays are full of ways our health can get affected
But feeling bad is much less sad, if you at least expect it.
Chronic pain and illness won’t just give you the month off
extra fun of holidays will come with major trade-offs
But don’t you let it beat you down or leave you slumped and weeping
You can still enjoy the toys and festive lords a’leaping
As you do these festive things, please promise me one thing
It’s just a small adjustment to the Yule-tide reveling
Anticipate misfortune - ‘cause when you least expect it
Murphys Law will always reign; we might as well respect it
So practice that one golden rule of holidays and vacations:
Protect yourself; stay merry with some VERY low expectations!
OK, that’s all for now. We are sending all our best wishes to you this season. Take good care of yourself, thanks for listening, remember you’re not alone, and please join us again soon.
